You have learned about money through your relationships starting in your childhood, then in school, and finally in your marriage.  Some people hoard money while others spend it freely.  Some are responsible about attending to daily financial management tasks, while others avoid these tasks and responsibilities as much as possible.  Some people don’t invest their money at all, others very conservatively, and still others take great financial risks.

Continue reading "Tool to Negotiate Your Divorce Fairly"

If divorce is inevitable, you begin a legal process that starts moving the day you file. There are dates set and timelines that begin so the whole process is like riding an escalator you cannot get off until it is over. When the ride does end you can either step off confidently if you have prepared, or get thrown off if you have not. I recently discussed how to win a Fair Share Divorce with Christine Chen on About the The Money, a series produced by PBS affiliate KCTS in Seattle.

Watch the video...

To find help preparing your financial plan and budget:

Talk with a financial planner who is experienced with divorce matters. The Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts has a website to help you find a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst in your area who is experienced with budgeting, planning and the divorce process.

Use the Fair Share Divorce Checklist to start gathering the documents and information you will need to prepare. Do this yourself so you do not have to pay your attorney to do it, and to help you build confidence and empower you to plan for a more positive future.

Find a career counselor and therapist who can help you determine your educational needs and support you emotionally during the process. A team of professionals to help guide and assist you will help you survive the divorce process and step off the escalator with confidence.

When it comes to love and marriage one of the biggest conflicts in a relationship is over money. Recently, I had the chance to discuss money values and how they affect our relationships with Christine Chen, host of “About the Money” on Seattle PBS affiliate KCTS. Watch the video...

Tips for talking about money issues with your partner:
If you are heading into a new relationship, come clean about your finances. Talk about your credit history, your debt and your earning potential with your partner as soon as you feel you have crossed into the “long-term relationship” stage.

Learn your money personality and talk with your spouse about how you feel about money. Understand your strengths and weaknesses as well as your partners. A good tool is Dr. Kathleen Gurney’s Moneymax questionnaire that assigns you a money personality based on your responses. It is free and takes about 10 minutes to complete. Visit the Moneymax Questionnaire.

If you have very different values about money learn to manage the conflict and communicate often. Create an “ours” budget for the family to cover expenses. Then create a “don’t ask fund” for each partner that has a discretionary amount to spend on whatever they want. One might shop until it is gone. The other could save every dime if he wanted. The point is that you have some independence to spend or save money guilt-free.

Remember, money values are passed down from our parents, relatives and friends. How we feel about money is the results of how we were brought up and has a big impact on our lives as adults. Money can equal love, power, self esteem, happiness, security depending on how you were raised.