Women who are dependent in their marriage, looking to be taken care of for the rest of their life are sabotaging their economic future. Marriage is not a life sentence - we know that over 1.1 million first marriages are ending in divorce annually and the divorce rate for second marriages is even higher.
Women live longer and still earn less as a group in today’s workplace. What is her part in the disintegration of the marriage? Both spouses have a part. We know that infidelity, money issues and sexual problems continue to be the top three reasons for a divorce.
I just read a thought provoking book on this subject that I believe every woman planning to get married or is married needs to read - Leslie Bennetts’ ”The Feminine Mistake”. The thesis of her book is women need to maintain self-sufficiency first and foremost for themselves throughout their life, not through marriage or motherhood. I couldn’t agree more. In the past 25 years I have worked with over 3000 women going through a divorce. Almost every time there is an issue about the woman having a career plan after the divorce. I will hear the same lament, “My husband wanted me to stay home and raise the children; we both agreed I should do this for the sake of the children and the family.” The men tell me they want a partner - someone who also has a career and helps with the family finances. These men are time and again leaving their wives for another younger woman that they have met on the Internet or through work. Are these “replacement” wives working outside the home? You bet!
I am not suggesting that all women immediately enter the job market no matter what their family needs, but I am suggesting that women maintain skills that the job market requires. That means they understand technology. They need to understand the basic programs that can be found on the computer - Word, Outlook, Excel, Money or Quicken. We know women are good researchers, both in the library or on the Internet. I suggest each woman find her passion and consider ways that she can make a living at it. If you want to stay home, look for a stay at home business. There are unlimited choices. Did you know that Warren Buffet recently bought three network marketing companies? Hallmark and Citibank have also recently purchased businesses that use network marketing.
Women, you don’t want to find yourself going from lounging at the spa on the French Riviera to cleaning houses in your community to earn enough money to make ends meet. Have you heard your cleaning lady’s story recently and how she came to clean houses? You just might be surprised.
You met your husband and there was excitement, communication, laughter and lots to share. Where are you in your marriage today? Finding a way to earn money for yourself and your husband can bring back some stimulating conversations. And the best revenge is ALWAYS you showing your ability to earn money - money that can be used to do more “fun” activities as a family, help put the children through college, or enhance your retirement funding.
I strongly advise you to read Leslie Bennetts book. You might not agree with her, but I can assure you she will make you think. Yes, divorce could happen even to you one day. If you do find yourself getting a divorce, I suggest you read my book, Fair Share Divorce for Women and I will help you get your fair share settlement. IF you are thinking of getting married or re-married, I also suggest you read my book, as I share with you some pointers on how to make this marriage work for the long haul.