Mothers who manage their homes and raising a family as if it was a business have been termed Alpha Moms. Constance Van Flandern from Eugene, Oregon coined this label and what has followed is a marketing frenzy. Are these mothers so different or are they the 21st century version of “super mom” of earlier decades?
I read a very interesting article in USA Today printed on March 27, 2007 by Bruce Horowitz called “Alpha Moms leap to top of trendsetters.” Of course, I know this type of woman who multi-tasks, is very organized, researches the family financial decisions, cooks, cleans, and may or may not work outside the home. This woman is the “Auper Mom” of my generation. The differences between the Alpha Mom and the Super Mom aren’t in as much opposition as you might think. The major difference comes down to one major component - the computer and BlackBerry. The computer provides the ability to be “connected” to the outside world at all times - when you are out with your children, you can turn on the BlackBerry and never miss a beat. My question is - do the children know about this multi-tasking frenzy and what are their thoughts and feelings? Nothing frustrates me more than when I am shopping or in a restaurant and these tech savy mothers are imposing their misbehaving children on the rest of us while they are on the phone or emailing. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against technology when it is being used in the home to help the mother more efficiently take care of her family either while at home or working at home. I say go for it - stay connected!
There are now support groups, targeted marketing campaigns, and leisure time activities especially targeted for this Alpha Mom group. These women are the PTA women of the past. I think these are smart women when it comes to divorce. They will have the skills to maintain a presence in the job market while home with the children, and keep up their technical skills during their marriages. Statistically, we know they will also encounter divorce like what has happened to the Super Mom. These women will not suffer the fianancial problems of the “economically disadvantaged” spouse we see so often today, particularly since we know that maintenance is rarely awarded long term in any marriage length. These women are taking charge of their lives, their children, their hushands, and their marriages. Everyone is on a schedule. But what is missing in many cases is spontaneity and balance. Is the loss of these two critical elements going to weaken the marriage over time? Only time will tell.
In Chapter 4 of Fair Share Divorce for Women, I talk about contemporary relationships and divorce, including the Alpha Earner (the woman earns 60% of the household income). The Alpha Mother is a unique twist between the stay at home mother and the Alpha Earner. Does the Alpha Mom earn and do over 60% of the work or is she guiding the spending of 60% of the family income as this article implies?