One of the most common misconceptions held by men and women when they divorce is that justice will prevail. They think the assets and income will be divided equally. Although no fault divorce exists, this is not the same as no-hassle divorce.
A no fault divorce occurs when neither spouse blames the other for the breakdown of the marriage. Both spouses agree that “irreconcilable differences” have arisen and that neither time nor counseling will save the marriage. The purpose of these laws was to reduce the pain, indignity, and the perceived injustice of divorce. Prior to the no fault divorce, one spouse literally had to buy their way out of the marriage and this could take years. This “buy out” was often times used as a financial bargaining chip by the spouse who did not want the divorce. When I lived in Brussels (a Catholic country) in the mid-70’s, about the only acceptable reason for divorce was infidelity - and you had to prove it. Spouses would arrange for a photographer to come to the hotel and get a picture of the divorcing spouse in bed with another partner. Then the legal process towards a final divorce could then begin. This could take months or years to finalize. This same divorce scenario was occurring here in the United States as well.
Now we have no-fault divorce and equitable distribution of the assets. Prior to no-fault divorce, women and men were getting financial support until remarriage or death. Today, the financial support is provided for a stated number of years, and many never collect it.
When you get a divorce today, it is very important to understand the economics of your marriage. You need to methodically illustrate what an equitable distribution of your assets and income will look like over time, based on the financial parameters of your marriage and the laws in the state where you are divorcing. And always trust but verify!
To learn more about getting the most out of your divorce, including practical tips and suggestions, read Kathleen’s new book, Fair Share Divorce for Women.