You are separated and are feeling overwhelmed. The children will soon be on holiday and you need a break. Can you take a vacation and spend the money? Yes, with planning.
First you separate, then one spouse files for divorce. It is not unusual that a year can easily pass before you divorce. Everything is up for grabs -emotionally, financially, and legally. This is a time consumed with uncertainty for everyone. You want some time out for yourself and your children...a vacation. Plan for it.
When you first file for divorce, a temporary budget should be established for you and your children. This filing is on a financial affidavit with the courts and typically a temporary parenting plan is also created. It is at this time that you need to do a thorough review of your historical spending while married - in all the categories of your spending life. I also like to see an historical calendar about your married life from the beginning to now with major events, promotions, moves, etc. Also, you should create a social calendar for the past 2 years summarizing family vacations. In this first hearing that deals with the sharing of the family finances and the temporary parenting plan, you need to create a reserve account for your vacation - one for yourself and the children.
This vacation fund needs to be detailed - cost of the airline tickets, hotels, food, entertainment, automobile rental, activities. Have you historically taken a family vacation? Where have you gone and what has been the cost? This does not need to be an extravagant trip, but one that you would enjoy with your children. I have found that if this is vacation plan is documented, realistic, and put in an historical framework it can be achievable. If you are not the one who brings home a paycheck every month this is especially important. It is always an uphill battle to get your fair share of the paycheck and bonus post-separation. Be organized, be detailed and start early.
I discuss at length the importance of budgeting in my book Fair Share Divorce for Women in Chapter 7. Read it and know how your budget planning will change as you go through these time periods: historical spending, sharing of expenses during separation, and your post divorce budget. This can make the difference between a financially stable post divorce lifestyle or one of fear and anxiety around money.