The process of getting a divorce is like riding an escalator - once you are on, the escalator keeps moving and doesn’t stop. Once you are on, you are going to get off, whether under your own power or by being thrown off by the unrelenting process of the legal system. Ready or not, you will be divorced.
The legal process consists of five separate phases you will have to navigate:
1. Preparation
2. Initiation
3. Analysis and Planning
4. Negotiation and Settlement
5. Implementation
Each phase has its own unique set of activities, tasks, documents, participants, and challenges.
As if the legal process were not enough to deal with, you must negotiate through the five emotional stages of divorce at the same time:
1. Pre-divorce
2. Decision
3. Acceptance
4. Mourning
5. Re-equilibrium
As you approach divorce, you will find yourself being dragged up the legal escalator while you must struggle up the emotional staircase on your own. That is a tough balancing act.
My experience shows that most women urgently need divorce advice. Many women dislike confrontation, shy away from conflict, and traditionally have taken a backseat with regards to money management. After the legal complexities and emotional nasties have been exhausted, money is what divorce is all about.
To learn what to expect, how to prepare and get organized so that you can confidently step off the “divorce” escalator - legally, financially, and emotionally - read Kathleen Miller’s new book Fair Share Divorce for Women and take charge of your process.