6 Must Do’s in a Recession….Reflections after 25 years providing financial divorce counseling in pre and post divorce.
The following entry was written by Jan Reha, president of Career Discovery Inc. in Bellevue, Washington. Jan and I have collaborated on many divorce cases and I have found her to be a valued colleague and professional in assisting those who need career counseling as part of thier divorce process. Jan has tremendous knowledge and insight for those who are about to re-enter the job market. You can learn more about Jan and her services at www.careerdiscoveryinc.com
As a Career Expert to the court for 27 years, I have counseled many women and men undergoing divorce who remained in the home to care for the children for a period of time. These people have ranged in ages 27 through early 80s. Yes, I had one client who was 81 years old and had a common law relationship. These clients have spanned many cultures and professions including a non-English-speaking man from China, non-literate women from Korea, Thailand and Viet Nam to doctors, lawyers, vice presidents in corporate America and co-business owners.
The reality of entering the job market for the first time or having to return to the job market after interruption strikes fear for most people in this situation. Many respond by attempting to ignore as long as possible the reality of having to prepare for their new lifestyle. Those who are encouraged by their attorneys, or recognize their need to start the process of preparing for entrance into the job market, overcome their fear and call me to set up an initial appointment to meet with me and discover how I can assist them.
As my profile on the careerdiscoveryinc.com site indicates, I have personally walked this transition some 30 years ago when my children were young. I know what fear feels like and how overwhelming and challenging it can be to become financially independent. I also understand the concerns about the welfare of the children and how they also have to cope with the divorce. The challenge is to overcome these feelings of disempowerment and despair and to replace those dark feelings with a sense of comfort secured by developing a concrete path toward financial independence. As one of my own counselors said, “Make the unknown, known.” You will then have a starting place.
I believe the most important asset we possess is our skills. By developing a set of marketable skills and continuing to add to them, you gain the confidence of knowing that you can take care of yourself and your children financially and no longer have to depend upon another. Over the years I have developed an in-depth program that helps clients obtain a clear understanding of themselves including thier interests, personality style, learning style, values and skills. I also teach clients how to research our ever changing job market using contemporary methods in order to familiarize themselves with current opportunities.
Once they have accomplished adequate research, we identify career and educational goals, the educational costs, job outlook and salary data. The result is a Plan of Action with a clear understanding of the next steps.
If you a going through a divorce and facing the fear of the unknown, this knowledge will help you to feel more secure. It also has specific value to your divorce proceedings. The information can be compiled into a Vocational Report which attorneys incorporate into their presentation documents for Mediation or Court. The Vocational Report substantiates your need for maintenance during your educational and employment reentry phases. This information also helps to show the disparity in earnings between you and your spouse. With this Plan you will overcome your fear of the unknown and help you obtain the finances you need from your spouse to financial independence and your life.
I look at the benefits and drawbacks to this crucial question.